For a good part of my 20s, it took me ages to get dressed in the morning. Most of that time was spent deciding what to wear, and then the rest of it was trying to fix wardrobe malfunctions.
In the end it was always the same - I looked and felt totally discombobulated.
I thought I needed closet organization - but what i really needed was to rethink my wardrobe.
None of the pieces had anything to do with one another. It was a challenge to conjure up an outfit with such a scattered wardrobe.
On top of that, so many of the pieces I had were wrong in some way. A lot of them had an awkward fit, or were uncomfortable. One way or another, they didn’t feel like they represented me.
I always felt a lack when it came to clothes. While shopping expanded my wardrobe, it did not make it any more satisfying or functional.
I was trapped in this cycle for years because I couldn't accept that my clothes were important.
From this baseline of undervaluing my wardrobe (and let’s be real, undervaluing myself), I’d adopted a number of practices that led to the cliche of a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. If my struggle sounds familiar to you, there’s a good chance these do too!
Buying Because It’s On Sale
I was always taught to never buy anything if it wasn’t on sale because of the huge markup on full priced items. I bought a lot of ill-fitting clothes that didn’t suit me because those were the ones that were on sale. I didn’t even bother looking at full priced items. Because so many sale clothes are on sale for a reason, it was hard for me to imagine what it would be like to have good options.
Allowing Others to Dress Me
Over the years, I’d received a lot of well-intended gifts in the form of clothing, shoes, accessories, even makeup. Some of these worked out beautifully, but some of them did not. Gifts are so hard declutter, and I was having trouble justifying buying myself a different version of something that I already had. If a wardrobe-related gift doesn't feel right, don’t force yourself to keep it over buying yourself something that would.
The other problem I was having was that when I did shop for myself, I was in denial about my lifestyle. My evening activities do not involve “the club,” and I barely had any use for 5 inch heels and a mini dress. In real life, I prefer low key evenings and getting cozy on the couch, and I was devaluing this occasion by wearing boring sweatpants. Now, I would recognize that urge to buy the heels and mini dress as an urge to feel prettier - but channel it into buying cute loungewear.
Your wardrobe can either work for you, or make you work. The truth is that you can make it happen at any budget or lifestyle, you just have to decide it’s important enough. That you’re important enough.
With Love & Gratitude,